Once A Father
by Kyros
Summary: Takes place soon after 5th Year begins. Harry overhears a conversation, which eventually leads him to find out a terrible truth about his mother, father... and Snape?
1. Library at Midnight

It was just past midnight when Harry slipped into the dark and eerily silent library. He had to walk slowly, trying not to make too much noise. He knew that Filch was in a particularly abominable mood than night, having been intercepted by Professor Dumbledore just as he was about to inflict a particularly filthy punishment on an errant First Year.

The Restricted Section was just ahead, and Harry's heartbeat quickened. Maybe this time he would find what he was looking for.

He had no legitimate reason for going into the Restricted Section, which was why he had come into the library under the invisibility cloak.

At least he didn't need a light. Someone had left one of the large windows undraped, and the moon was bright enough to see by.

Several days earlier he had overheard Professor Lupin's conversation with another member of Hogwarts staff. It had disturbed him greatly, so much so that he couldn't even sleep at night. He had lain awake that night, anger and confusion washing over him, until he couldn't stand it another minute.

Lupin was temporarily back at Hogwarts after the sudden disappearance of the new Defense teacher. Harry frowned at the recollection. They'd had a new Defense teacher every year since he came to Hogwarts, but apparently those were no longer even lasting through the first quarter.

Not that Harry was complaining. The new Defense teacher had been horrible. She had shown up with a slew of creatures, most of which were on par with Hagrid's old skrewts. She had assigned more homework than any of their other instructors, and singled out students for reprimand with almost as much malice as Snape.

He had reached the Restricted Section and stepped carefully over the rope that separated it from the rest of the library.

His eyes passed right over the first few shelves. He wasn't looking for hexes . . . not potions . . . and information on banned magical plants wouldn't be much use to him either.

There, he had found it! History of the Ministry of Magic.

Why were these books here? There was an entire section on the subject in the general library. Why put these particular books where very few students could have access to the information contained within their pages?

It had been by chance that Harry had remembered that he had seen the books there the last time he visited the Restricted Section under the cover of night. He hadn't paid any attention to them that time, but this time he seized the first of the books eagerly.

"Mr. Potter," came a chilling, slimy voice from behind him, and the next moment the book was plucked out of his hand at the same time as his cloak was pulled away roughly.

"Well, well, well," Snape continued as Harry turned slowly around to face him. "What have we here?" He turned the book over to read the title. "Did you feel a sudden urge to catch up on your History homework, Mr. Potter?"

Harry gritted his teeth and didn't answer. What awful luck! Of all the people he could have run into, of course it had to be Snape!

"Don't have much to say for yourself?" Snape sneered. "Perhaps you will be more talkative after a good night's sleep," he smiled a most unpleasant smile, knowing that the rest of the night was ruined for Harry. "My office, Mr. Potter, tomorrow before dinner," he smiled again, thinking that he had outdone himself -- now Harry's dinner would be spoiled as well. "Now, if you please, return to Gryffindor dormitory, where you belong."

With Snape's piercing black eyes following him, Harry turned and fled from the library.

He was shaking with fury and indignation. Snape had his cloak! Harry couldn't imagine how he would get it back. Not to mention that he would probably have detention for a week, and that's only if Snape couldn't manage to come up with something more sadistic.

Creeping into his bed, Harry lay awake, anger and disappointment preventing him from closing his eyes.

All he had wanted was to find out the truth!

A few days earlier, he had been delayed in study hall, which is what they had been having instead of Defense, and overheard snatches of conversation coming from an office down the corridor.

He had heard his mother's name. Any thought of consequences or principles immediately vanished from his head. He stopped and listened.

He was amazed to head Lupin's voice, but couldn't figure out whom Lupin was talking to. Lupin was doing nearly all of the talking, his voice getting angrier and louder. When the other person spoke, it was in a voice so soft that Harry couldn't hear any distinguishable words.

So that's how Harry had found out about the accusations against his mother. He had stood there and listened to Lupin's angry voice demand to know whether there was any truth to them. As far as Harry could figure out, a Death Eater had once accused his mother of consorting with Voldemort.

His mother! Harry felt his anger boil over as he thought about it. His mother had died fighting Voldemort -- died to protect Harry! Why was Professor Lupin even considering this absurdity?

He had lain awake in his bed that night just as he did now. Whenever he closed his eyes, his mother's last words repeated inside his head.

The following morning he had been far less surprised than his fellow Gryffindors to find out that Professor Lupin was back at Hogwarts and going to take over the stalled Defense class.

Harry loitered after class that day, but his courage had failed him under Lupin's eager greeting and ready smile. He tried again following dinner, but the words wouldn't come. He remembered how sad Professor Lupin's eyes became every time he was reminded of James and Lily Potter.

The following morning between classes, Harry had gone to the library to see if he could find the information himself. Trials were described in several books, and if any accusations had been made, perhaps they would be there, along with a solid refute.

He had found nothing.

For a moment he had considered asking Hermione for help, after all, who knew research methods better than she? But this was a private matter, one that hurt him bitterly, and he couldn't bring himself to share it with his friends.

Now, after his failed excursion to the Restricted Section, Harry was no closer to the truth. He sighed in frustration.

It couldn't be true. Of course not. But just the thought of his mother being accused of something so terrible would give him no peace until he was satisfied that it was a cruel lie, just a pathetic attempt to stay out of Azkaban.

Snape wouldn't stop him, Harry was determined. What was detention when he was on a mission to find the truth? He would find it, whatever it took.

But as he tossed and turned in his bed, Harry was miserably aware that if Snape had his way, he would have many uncomfortable days ahead of him. 


	2. Potions with Slytherins

The following morning Harry arrived late for breakfast. He had finally fallen asleep, from sheer exhaustion, just as the sun was rising.

Hermione and Ron moved aside to let him sit down between them. They had been looking at that day's schedule.

"Double Potions with Slytherins!" Ron groaned. "It can't be! Didn't we just have that?"

Harry leaned over to see. A quick calculation told him that he would be on his way to Snape's office just as the class ended. Could he endure that much Snape in a single day?

"We have Care of Magical Creatures today also," Hermione reminded them.

Hagrid was still away, and the new instructor preferred that they learn from books rather than practical experience. History of Magic remained the only class that was more dull.

"Ugh," Ron said through a mouthful of pie.

Harry said nothing. If he told them that he would be meeting Snape later that day, they might sympathize, but they would also want to know why. If Hermione found out that he had been to the Restricted Section, there would be no stopping her until she had the whole story.

Fortunately there were many morning announcements, and he had good reason to stay silent.

Morning classes seemed to pass in no time, even Care of Magical Creatures seemed to end far too soon. Before he knew it, Harry was walking into the Potions classroom.

"Out of my way, Potter," Malfoy pushed past Harry, knocking his book bag off his shoulder.

Harry's eyes flashed and a retort sprang to his lips, but he remembered just in time that his predicament was bad enough already. From across the room, Snape was staring right at him, apparently waiting for the chance to take House points. When Harry stayed silent he looked positively aggrieved.

It was a terrible class. Malfoy flicked beetle-eyes at him behind Snape's back. Hermione hissed every few minutes that his potion was too watery. Finally, Harry spilled a saucer full of frog brains as he yawned, and Snape pounced on him.

"Do you find my class monotonous, Mr. Potter?" he demanded. "Or perhaps you feel that you have already mastered this potion?"

Harry looked up at Snape from the floor, where he was trying to gather up the slippery brains. He didn't answer, knowing it didn't make one bit of difference now that Snape had found a target.

"Well?"

"No, Sir," Harry tried to look timid.

"Really? I never would have. . ."

There was an explosion behind him, and Snape whirled around, forgetting Harry for the moment.

"Longbottom!" he roared.

Harry could just see Neville through the thick cloud of smoke rising over his melting cauldron, and Neville looked terrified.

The smoke was the only thing that saved Neville, since Snape hesitated to go straight through it to reach him.

The door opened and Dumbledore looked in.

"Is everything all right, Severus?"

"Everything," Snape said through gritted teeth, "is just fine."

"I'm glad to hear it. May I see you outside for just a moment?" Dumbledore shot a sympathizing look in Neville's direction as he shut the door.

Snape looked around the room, not even sparing the Slytherins his seething glare.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor!" he managed to spit out, focusing his wrathful eyes on Neville. "And have that mess cleaned up by the time I return!"

Harry, Hermione, and Ron rushed to help Neville, who had sunk into a chair, looking very pale.

They had more than enough time to remove Neville's ruined cauldron and to wipe up the sticky mess that covered his desk.

Snape returned, his lips pulled into a thin line and his eyes betraying the anger he had been forced to suppress.

"Class dismissed," he announced.

No one moved. There was still a quarter of an hour left of class, and Snape had never before let them out early.

"Did you not hear me?" Snape repeated. "Class is dismissed."

He looked around the room at the blank faces.

"Get out!"

They scattered, gathering up their books hastily.

Outside the classroom, Hermione and Ron waited for Harry, who was one of the last to exit. He had hoped that they would go on ahead, making it unnecessary for him to explain why he would be staying down in the dungeons.

"Come on Harry, hurry up," Ron waved him over. "We can get in a decent game of chess before dinner."

"I have to see Snape in his office," Harry grimaced.

"What?" Hermione looked dismayed. "When did that happen?"

"Between classes," Harry lied.

Hermione and Ron both frowned, not recalling when Harry had been alone that morning long enough for Snape to corner him.

"Sorry, Harry," Ron finally said. "We'll see you at dinner?"

"Sure," Harry tried to look cheerful.

Left alone in the gloomy dungeons, he felt anything but cheerful. Snape's office was just down the corridor, and Harry decided that he might as well wait for Snape there.

Snape was still in the classroom, and Harry could hear the clang of cauldrons as they were forced back into cupboards.

When Snape was mistreating Potions equipment, it was best not to interrupt him, Harry decided.

Snape's office was unlocked. Harry went in and sat down, staring around the dimly lit room. Since the last time he was there, Snape had acquired a number of bizarre items, not the least of which was a pickled two-headed snake in a jar that sat in the center of the desk. Harry shuddered at the sight of the milky white eyes and barred fangs.

Voices and footsteps sounded outside.

"Was it necessary, Lupin, to involve Dumbledore?" Snape's voice demanded.

Harry couldn't hear Lupin's response over the sound of his own heart beating.

"You thought wrong," Snape continued.

"We have a right to the truth!" Lupin's voice rose angrily.

There was a brief silence, and Harry leaned forward in his chair. So, it was Snape that he had heard Lupin arguing with that day!

"Then you shall have it," Snape's poisonous voice was low and bitter. "Since you insist."

"I insist."

Was it Harry's imagination, or did Lupin sound apprehensive?

"Come into my office."

Harry froze. His eyes darted around the room. He had no doubt that he did not want to be found, and something in him desperately needed to stay and hear what was said.

The cupboard! Snape's private stores were in there, Harry knew, but there just might be enough room for him.

Not a moment too soon he shut the cupboard quietly behind himself and crouched on the floor. The door opened and he heard Snape sit down behind the desk.

"So," Snape's mocking voice broke the silence, "you want to hear the truth?" 


	3. What Harry Heard

In the cupboard, Harry strained to hear.

A chair scraped across the floor; he guessed that Lupin had sat down.

"Well?" Lupin prompted impatiently.

"I'm curious, why is this so important to you?" Snape asked. "It can't possibly matter after all these years."

"It matters."

"Fine," Snape said, his voice sounding annoyed. "Now, what makes you think I have the answers you want?"

"You know perfectly well why. Arabella Figg. When she first mentioned that she didn't trust you, I actually defended you." He sniffed angrily. "When she told me she didn't believe the confession you made to the Ministry had been entirely accurate, I reminded her that you were questioned under Veritaserum. When she told me that another confession contradicted yours, I actually. . ." He paused, trying to get his voice under control. "I told her I placed more trust in your words than the words of a proven Voldemort supporter."

There was a silence after he finished.

"Do you expect me to thank you for your confidence in me?"

"I don't expect anything," Lupin smirked. "Let me continue."

"By all means, go ahead," Snape said, sarcasm returning to his voice.

"I would have left it at that," Lupin continued, "but your own actions betrayed you. I don't know how you managed to oust her, when she was so intent on getting the Defense job, and when she had Albus' full support. You must have gone to a lot of trouble to drive her away."

"What makes you think I had anything to do with it?"

"Who else?" Lupin demanded, his voice rising. "Don't try to deny it. Your plan didn't work. I was already at Hogwarts, Albus had invited me during the summer. We thought it best if very few people knew that I was here."

Harry could almost _feel_ Snape's scowl.

"She had been my teacher once, if you recall," Lupin continued, "so of course we spent time together. Especially since. . ."

"Spare me the details and get to the point," Snape interrupted.

"The point is," Lupin said, bristling, "after you drove her out I began to entertain the thought that she might have been on to something."

"Too much time on your hands, perhaps?"

Lupin ignored him.

"I pulled the old files. I compared the confessions. I found the discrepancy."

"Let me see if I. . ." Snape began, but Lupin interrupted him.

"Let me clarify. I don't believe that you lied."

"How kind of you," Snape smirked.

"I believe the fault lay with the Auror questioning you. He skipped past the names of Death Eaters who had already been apprehended, and apparently skipped over the name of his fellow Auror as well."

There was a short pause.

"If that is what you believe, then why are we here?"

"Because of the other confession. For obvious reasons, I can't go straight to the source. You are the next best thing," Lupin exhaled sharply, "and I want you to tell me everything."

There was such a long silence that Harry almost began to believe that he was alone in Snape's office. Snape's voice made him jump, hitting his elbow painfully on a shelf corner. He just barely managed to stifle a yelp.

"Alright. But there is not much to tell."

"Tell me anyway, and let me be the judge of that."

"She had no intention of joining Voldemort. She came to our meeting place one time only, and it was to see me," Snape paused. "But you already knew that."

"Yes," Lupin confirmed. "I want to hear what her business with you was."

"I'm afraid that is a private matter."

Lupin snorted.

"And is of no importance," Snape continued, interrupting him before he could say anything. "She left, and never returned. There. Now you have the truth, and you can stop questioning her loyalty." He laughed harshly. "I hope you will not be losing any more sleep over this matter," he said in his most sarcastic tone.

In the cupboard, Harry sighed with relief and leaned his forehead to the cool stone wall. His mother had been innocent.

"Wait," Lupin stopped Snape, who had gotten up from his chair. "We are not finished."

"What more do you want?" Snape demanded, his temper rising.

"What was the date?"

"The date?" Snape repeated. "Do you expect me to remember? She came in the dead of night, and left before dawn. It was not important enough to commit to memory."

"Is that so?" Lupin demanded. "I happen to know the exact date. James was here at Hogwarts, and it was the one night that he was able to go home. He was looking forward to seeing her, they had been apart for more than three weeks. But he came home to an empty house. He waited, but there was a meeting the following morning and he was forced to return. After that. . ."

"Then why did you ask me, if you knew?" Snape interrupted.

"You didn't let me finish!" Lupin's voice rose angrily. "After that, he was unable to go home again for over a month. I didn't know this. You are aware, of course, that I could not keep track of him during the times I was confined to the Shrieking Shack."

"Yes, I am aware of that," Snape sneered.

"I had to go to Sirius for this information."

"Now _there_ is a reliable source," Snape sniffed. "I suppose I should have known you would drag him into this one way or the other."

"Sirius was at James' side the entire time. He knows for a fact that James never left Hogwarts, and that Lily remained at home."

"What is your point?"

"My point is," Lupin said sharply, "that Lily and James were apart for over eight weeks."

"How sad for the newlyweds. Must have been hard."

Harry heard Lupin's chair scrape across the floor and hit the wall. Lupin banged his fists down on Snape's desk, hard enough to shake the walls and cause a shower of dried leaves and moss to fall from a topmost shelf inside the cupboard.

"Don't pretend you don't know where I'm going with this, Severus," Lupin's voice was strained, as if it took all his strength to control his anger.

"I'm afraid I don't," Snape told him, but his voice too sounded strained.

Lupin's voice dropped, Harry had to press his ear to the door to hear him.

"Don't. Just don't. Most wizards have trouble with even simple logic. Even Albus. And James. But not you. No. And not me either."

Snape didn't reply, or if he did, Harry could not hear it. After a moment Lupin continued.

"Their child could not have been conceived before James left. It is not necessary to have medi-training to know that it is not possible."

Lupin stopped, and waited. Snape stayed silent. In the cupboard, Harry pressed his ear harder against the door, his heart pounding so hard that in the silence it sounded like the beat of a drum.

"But. . . when. . . James came back. . ." Lupin continued, his voice strained and faltering, ". . . she announced the pregnancy. She said. . . that she waited until things calmed down, because she knew it would be an additional anxiety for James, something more for him to worry about. But now we know. . ." Lupin's voice trailed off.

"You're wrong," Snape said, and he laughed a short, shaky laugh.

"Am I?" Lupin demanded. "I don't think so! You must have known. Something like this would not have escaped your notice. You would have figured it out, just like I would have, had I had all the information."

Another chair scraped the floor, this time it was Snape who got up. He seemed to be pacing around the room.

"It isn't true. I saw him! And look at him now! That's James' son, no matter what you say. They must have. . ."

"No," Lupin said shortly.

The pacing stopped somewhere near Harry's hiding place. He could hear Snape's breathing, fast and labored.

"Think about it," Lupin said, his voice low again. "She was so good at charms. If she wanted to protect her secret. . . Didn't you consider the possibility?"

Snape didn't answer him.

"You did, didn't you?" Lupin demanded. "And you dismissed it based on outward appearance? I don't believe that you would accept that as valid evidence. . ." His voice trailed off.

"You confirmed it," he finally said.

Silence from Snape.

"You knew all this time. You left him with those Muggles even though you _knew._"

No answer.

"Look at me!" Lupin snarled, his heavy footsteps crossing the room rapidly. "It's over! You will not convince me that you were ignorant, and you will not convince me that I'm wrong! Stop trying. It's over!"

Lupin stopped, panting hard, out of breath and overcome with emotion.

"It was too late," Snape's voice was forced and low.

"Too late?"

"I saw him, right after. . . And I accepted at the time that he was James' child. When I began to have doubts, I. . . I tested him."

"And?" Lupin prompted, when Snape didn't continue.

"And it was too late. It was two years before he arrived at Hogwarts. Already, everyone was holding their breath, waiting to see if he would be accepted to the school, waiting for his reentry into the Wizarding World."

"So you did nothing? You didn't go to Albus?"

"No."

"Then he doesn't know?"

"No," Snape turned on him, and suddenly his voice regained its usual cold composure, "and you will not tell him. You will tell _no one_ about this conversation."

"What about Harry?"

"What about him?"

"He is your _son._"

In the cupboard, Harry bit his lip until it bled, a desperate attempt to keep back the howl of anger and pain that had been welling up in his chest. 


End file.
